My Struggle with Infertility and Mother’s Day

This Sunday is a big day for many women – Mother’s Day.  I’ve never had an issue celebrating this day…I have two wonderful moms in my life that deserve my attention and gratitude.  But I’m finding this Mother’s Day even more difficult than ever.

It’s been about one year since Josh and I were medically labeled “infertile.”  And it’s been a very slow year in the process of figuring out if we can even have children.  You may remember that in January we actually started the first medical procedures to possibly correct the infertility.  (You can refresh your memory by clicking HERE then HERE).  Well, tomorrow we go in for our first follow-up since the procedure.  A few tests will be done and we should know soon after whether the procedure was successful.  So, depending on those results, I may have a wonderful weekend, celebrating with growing hope that one day I will be celebrated as a mom.   But if the results show no positive progress…you may not see me at church this mother’s day…

This journey of infertility is so frustrating…just when I think I’ve come to terms with the possibility of not having children, little things chip away at my emotions until I’m suddenly an emotional wreck, and must admit “This is harder than I thought it would be”.  It doesn’t help when I’ve had 4 friends give birth in the last 6 months, have 8 (yes, eight) more friends announce pregnancies within the last 9 months, watched a baby dedication last Sunday, and now it’s Mother’s Day.  I’ve actually almost shut down my facebook account just because of all the hundreds of statuses and pictures about my friends’ wonderful children (or sometimes their naughty little ones).   Don’t get me wrong…I am sooo happy for my friends; I really do rejoice in the blessings they have in their lives…I’m not bitter, angry, or disgusted…I’m just hurting, confused, and trying to get through this…and daily reminders of this void in my life can be excruciating.

I know many of you who read this blog have children, and I know that you have genuine concern and compassion.  Sometimes in your wanting to show your concern, you say things hoping to help ease the pain…and even though I know what you say comes from from a loving, sincere heart, the things you say are often quite painful.  I read a blog this week about this issue and want to pass it along….I pray it helps guide you in how to approach & minister to a friend who’s hurting through infertility.  You can read it by clicking HERE.

Please be praying for our Dr. appointment tomorrow.  I’ll keep you updated.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dsartain18
    May 07, 2010 @ 03:01:35

    I’m so sorry Lindsey, I had no idea. I will definitely be praying for you guys about this.

    Reply

  2. Trackback: Mother’s Day without children « The Heart of the Matter
  3. Cindee
    May 08, 2010 @ 14:51:39

    Lindsey We are praying and you know how much we love you and Josh
    Cindee

    Reply

  4. Anna
    May 09, 2010 @ 18:19:36

    We have walked a similar road in our lives and are believing for positive results. We love you!

    Reply

  5. Cheryl
    May 11, 2010 @ 14:56:55

    Thanks for the post on this subject. I know the pain of childless Mother’s Days, all too well. My husband and I celebrated our 8th anniversary this past Spring and while we’ve brought 2 cats and a dog into our family, we’ve not been blessed with children. The second and third year of our marriage, we tried and hoped month after month to no avail. With us there has been no discoveries of infertility, but yet nothing happens. I couple of years ago, I came to terms that it was God’s will that we have other callings on our lives or He simply has other timing in mind. I cried and mourned over the loss of being a mom, something I just always assumed I’d be. Then this year God showed me something, when I attempted to come to terms with it, I absolutely gave up hope, and it was a wholesale release of hope in my life. I entered into a dark night of my own doing. Thankfully, God didn’t intend for me to reside there. He calls us to believe His promises, that He does have good plans for us, plans to give us hope and a future. My future may not include children and that yet remains to be seen, however it does include hope. Hope in and of itself for God’s good plans for me. I am trusting in what He has for us and in doing so that garment of heaviness I took upon myself has been replace with a garment of praise. I would pray for you that He would have children in His perfectly timed plans for you, but if He doesn’t, may you receive the gift of hope and a garment of praise as well. It’s made all the difference for me, my marriage and my future. May God bless you richly.

    Reply

  6. lmparks
    May 20, 2010 @ 23:34:49

    I just realized I never responded back; so sorry for the delay!

    I appreciate everyone’s prayers and encouragement. Cheryl, thank you for sharing part of your experience as well. You are completely right…with Christ, we have hope and great promises that HE has us(& all our circumstances) in his hands!

    Reply

  7. Cheryl
    May 21, 2010 @ 03:07:29

    No worries on the timing of the post. I was pleased to have the opportunity to share my experience in the hope that others could find encouragement through it.

    God bless.

    Reply

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