The B/S Chronicles: Sibling Rivalry

We grew up together; now we blog together.  In the B/S Chronicles you’ll get to experience viewpoints from a brother/sister team…who may or may not always see things eye-to-eye. 

The B/S Chronicles:  Sibling Rivalry

I admit it.  I have been spoiled all. my. life.

But I can’t help that I was born the only girl between two brothers.  I also did not choose to be the first granddaughter on my mother’s side of the family.  So, naturally, you can see why I was spoiled.  Grandmothers and Mothers love dressing up their little girls and Daddies shower their princesses with sweet pleasantries.   It happens….so, brother, GET OVER IT!

Actually, when it comes to competition and rivalry – whether vying for attention or differing life viewpoints – Jeremy, my younger brother, and I remain fairly civil and equal.   We definitely do not agree on certain issues, but the key is that we don’t let them come between us.  We either talk them out, or we just keep silent and deal with it on our own…a.k.a. forgive and move on.  My older brother, Michael, is quite a bit older…so by the time I had grown to develop my own ideas and ways of doing things, he was already out of the house.  We, too, do not agree on many things…actually i’d say we disagree more than agree…but we have matured and learned to not let disagreements interfere with our relationship.

Growing up, things were much different between me and Jeremy.  For starters, we lived under the same roof, had to share the same toys, and fought over one-on-one time with our parents.  Like most children who do not know how to properly express their emotions, we had moments of explosive “disagreements”.  Often, the house resembled more of a boxing ring than a comfortable home.  And…there was even that one time where I chased him around the house with a butcher knife. (I wasn’t going to hurt him…promise.)

I clearly remember when it all changed.  It was a normal day in our household…full of screams and hurtful words.  It escalated quickly and ended with slamming doors and tears.  We were then in our teenage  years, and we both had had enough.  When all calmed, I remember sitting down with him and just talking.  TALKING.  No accusations.  No shouting.  No flying fists.

We expressed our hurts, our frustrations.  We admitted our wrongs and made amends.  But then we did something very wise beyond normal teenage thinking…we made a plan to end all the strife.  We wanted a home and a relationship built on friendship and respect.  Home had become a house of stress, but we were ready to turn it into a refuge of peace.  

Of course we didn’t achieve that peace 100% of the time…but life was drastically different in the Wheeler household after that.  Even as our family struggled over the years in different ways, Jeremy and I pursued to make our home one that pleased God.  Together, we exchanged ideas, watched movies, attended church, did mission work…and most importantly we studied Scripture and prayed together.  I had best friends, but Jeremy was the best of them all…and, today (other than my husband) he still is.

Read:  Sibling Rivalry – Brother’s perspective.  Click Here to read His Side.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jeremy
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 21:29:48

    hey now… the knife thing was scary. I can deal with fists flying, but i’m not convinced (and neither was my bedroom door) that you weren’t about to go “Here’s Johnny” /Jack Nicholson in the Shining on me…

    Reply

  2. Jessica
    Mar 16, 2010 @ 19:58:16

    Wow. I love all of these entries. Especially this one and the “you are truely beautiful” one. This entry gives me hope that maybe me and Andrew will have that same kind of relationship. I mean we aren’t like fighting to the death or anything, I just wish that we had the same closeness that you and your brother have. 🙂

    Reply

    • lmparks
      Mar 16, 2010 @ 20:34:00

      I think the key is to be intentional in building your relationship with your brother; treat him as you would a friend. Also, dynamics will change as you both continue to grow into adulthood. We were great friends as teenagers…but it really was with aging & maturing that we worked out the kinks in our relationship.

      And Thanks for reading.commenting, Jessica! 🙂

      Reply

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