Couch thoughts

Have you ever been in that place where the couch feels like the most comfortable place in the world?  Where nothing sounds more appealing than cuddling up all day against the sofa’s arm rest surrounded by everything you need – snacks, tv remote, laptop, and magazines?  That’s how I’ve felt for the last few days.  Of course, it didn’t turn out that way; i still had to take care of everyday things like laundry, cooking, and grocery shopping, but most of my free time has me folded up on my big, blue comfy couch.

I don’t really need the rest.  All i’ve had is time to relax.  But this abundance of relaxing “down” time has resulted in boredom and an unmotivational attitude.  I hate being apathetic.  I’m not an apathetic person (except with politics, and during my Senior year, my HS choir teacher once called me apathetic towards singing – yeah, whatever).  However, I am unmotivated at the moment.

The weather tonight was perfect for cycling, but I watched a movie instead.  There’s a stack of new books by my bed that I want to read, but I’d rather do something that requires a little less concentration.  I’ve started eating unhealthy after really making an effort not to, but the cake called my name and now I feel sick to my stomach.

Yet, the one area that I hate being unmotivated the most in is with the basic Spiritual disciplines – reading and meditating on the Scriptures, praying, worshiping.  I admit that I’m not doing them like I should.  In no way am I pulling back from my Lord, but I’m in a dry spell.  I”m still passionate about following Him, but I’m struggling to open my Bible. My return back to Texas has still left me with many confusing thoughts and unanswered questions.  Even if i never fully understand this situation, It’s in his presence that I’m going to find true peace.  That’s why I KNOW i need to push through; to persevere until these things can be worked out in me even if I don’t feel like doing it.

I need to think practically, also.  To make a plan and stick to it.  When I worked outside of the home, I made sure to give myself at least 30 minutes to read the Word and pray.  Every morning, during my breakfast I would meditate on Scripture.  By the time I finished eating and reading, I still had time to pray.  Since my days started out this way, I was able to meditate on the Scriptures for the rest of my day, worshiping him through those verses or allowing Him to mold me.  Now my days start with sleeping in, checking my emails, maybe eat breakfast depending on the time,  jumping into all my chores or errands because I slept late, and then ‘relaxing’ on the sofa.  And, honestly, it doesn’t help that Josh is here…he’s a distraction (in a good way), but his presence makes it more difficult for me to go before my Lord uninhibited like I used to do.  I’m not putting the blame on him, and it’s probably a lame excuse, but it’s a factor in my mindset.

The awesome thing about God is that He’s always there.  When I finally decide to get up off the couch and start afresh, He’ll graciously draw me right back into Him.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. letlightshine
    Sep 02, 2008 @ 16:21:37

    Ah, my dear friend, I know what you mean. The other day, I could just picture curling up in a comfy chair, with the fire going on a dark maybe stormy cool night with my glass of hot cocoa and donut holes (for which I was eating) and just relaxing with a book in front of the fire. Except I didn’t particularly feel like reading, and it was daylight at the time, and of course we live in TX where it is hot outside. It was a pleasant thought though. There’s always stuff to do, housework, cleaning, reading, studying….but my final thought was sometimes we just need a little challenge, a puzzle to figure out, something to engage our mind more. I know I can do all this physical work, but where is the challenge intellectually? I know stuff, but where can it be applied?

    So… still searching. But remember, be content in any and every situation. Did you and Josh start the prayer book together yet? We finished the series Sunday on marriage and the conclusion is really good! You should listen to the podcasts online. Another good podcast site is http://www.loveandtruthchurch.com and go to the media section under Jackson, TN location. I’ve been listening to the 30 minute sermons there recently and they are very good and inspiring. Sometimes we just need a little change of something to listen to or read to help with dry spells. I get that way too sometimes. Hope it helps!

    from your friend with love

    Reply

  2. Lindsey
    Sep 03, 2008 @ 14:23:35

    Thanks, Cari for your thoughts. You know, I used to listen to radio shows and books on CD all the time, especially when I worked outside the home. It’s harder for me to do that at home…I get too easily distracted.

    I’m going to be starting a new book today or tomorrow that I’m excited about. I think it’s going to be challenging for me, but a good motivator.

    Reply

  3. cm
    Sep 04, 2008 @ 04:31:07

    I really rec. the Love and Truth one. They’re quick and the pastor can be humorous too. I just listened to it over breakfast or part of quiet time. He really has some great messages – Pastor Cupples is his name. That church really fed on the desire I have Christ.
    Hope you are doing well!

    Reply

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