I was a drug addict and a single father – Jesus changed my life

The following story is Josh’s amazing testimony.

My parents were Christians and took me and my brother to church every Sunday. I remember when I was 12 years old I heard a pastor ask that if I was to die that night, would I go to heaven? That question scared me because I didn’t know if God would let me into heaven. So when they asked us who wanted to go to heaven to come forward and pray with them I think I was the first one to respond.

Well as the years went by church became less exciting to me and more of burden. Nothing in my life had changed as a result of my prayer that night. My only passion in life was to be in a rock band and party. I eventually started getting involved in drugs. I smoked pot everyday and even sold it occasionally. I would pop pills, trip acid and mushrooms, and even use inhalants to get high. I didn’t care about anything but partying.

I eventually found a girlfriend who shared my philosophy and we started sleeping together. She told me that she couldn’t get pregnant, so we never used protection. I didn’t care because I was just using her for sex anyways. Well, she lied and she got pregnant and we had a daughter. I didn’t let that stop me from partying but I soon realized that our relationship was not going to work out. So we separated and I was a single father at 19 years of age.

My mother approached me one day and asked me if I would be willing to get a DNA test done on my daughter and that she would pay for it. I told her it was a waste of money but I agreed. When I got the results back I found out I was not the father. My life was pretty messed up already from being a drug addict and when I got that news I completely lost it.

I remember wanting to kill my ex-girlfriend by blowing up her house or something. My father calmed me down and helped me figure out what I needed to do. I met with my ex-girlfriend and showed her the results and told her not to call me for anything. I never saw my daughter again after that.

As I drove away from her house I broke down and was crying my eyes out. My ex-girlfriend, who I had spent 2 years with, had cheated on me and convinced me that her daughter was mine. I was with her through her entire pregnancy and was in the room when her daughter was born. I even signed the birth certificate and gave her my last name. All this was a lie. My daughter wasn’t mine anymore and actually never was. My heart was broke.

I began to drink excessively and took as many drugs as I could to drown her memory. I remember taking so many drugs one night that I thought I was dying and was going to overdose. About 2 weeks later, I had taken some drugs at home and was lying on my bed waiting for them to kick in when I started thinking about all I had been through.

It’s hard to explain what happened next but I felt God speaking to my heart. He began to tell me that He loved me and reminded me that Jesus had died and was raised from the dead to forgive me of my sin. I felt so unworthy and yet so loved. I had seen what the world had to offer and it only left me broken. Nothing seemed to take the pain away that I felt. I believe God had delivered me and was offering me a second chance to live the life I was meant to live. I cried out to God for forgiveness and surrendered my life to God that night.

As I let God take control and he began to heal my broken heart. The next morning I flushed my drugs down the toilet. He had broken my addictions and I haven’t touched them since. God began to change me from the inside out as I meditated on the Scriptures. He took away the pain and anger I felt toward my ex and gave me the strength to call her and forgive her for what she had done to me.

That was the hardest thing to do but I knew that just as Christ forgiven me I needed to forgive her. After I forgave her it was like a ton of bricks had been removed from my shoulders. I was truly set free. Jesus Christ changed my life and gave me hope for the future and He can do it for you.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. evanblackerby
    Sep 24, 2007 @ 05:10:02

    this is pretty incredible. thanks for being so real with this. I know it must’ve been tough, but what a great thing it is to be able to offer people the hope of Christ now. very cool. Thanks for being passionate about Christ. It’s what this world needs.

    Reply

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