Last time you heard from me I was at the beginning of a battle against an enemy that I knew little about. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can read it HERE).  Many things have happened since then, and I can say that the battle has been much easier than anticipated.  I’m still not ready to publicly reveal  the issues, mainly because we still don’t know 100% what they are; however, the issues are manageable.  Turns out that this enemy is much more puny that I originally thought.

One of the biggest accomplishments came through a Fast (which you can read about HERE)  I’ve done fasts, including the Daniel fast, in previous years.  Each one was a true test of discipline…and I usually failed at them by “cheating” with a nibble of cookie or glass of tea.  This time, I stayed strong and focused.  Sweets and prohibited foods truly did not have any temptation on me!  After 10 days on the strict diet, I felt so clean and renewed…and felt God saying, “see, you CAN do it!”  Self-doubt has become replaced with confidence.  Not just in my eating habits, but in many areas.

Thanks for your prayers…they’ve worked!

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” ~ Chinese Philosopher Lao-tzu

If you read my last post, then you know that I’m at the beginning of a personal war. I need to be completely ready for whatever comes my way: spiritually, mentally & physically. So, Today I’m starting a new journey to health. I’ve actually had many ‘first steps’ in becoming a healthier person; many of them lasted a short while, some lasted longer…all ended.

However, the goal is no longer to mirror the thin girls on the magazine covers. The number on that little white tag inside my jeans will not affect my moods anymore. I simply want only to be healthy – To not feel sick after eating. It’s time for me to allow my body to heal. Hopefully, it’s not too late to reverse the damage that has already been done.

I’m starting this journey with a Daniel Fast. I’ve done variations of this fast before, but this time I’m using a helpful site/blog dedicated only to the Daniel Fast. You can see a guideline at the website by clicking HERE.

And, of course, my main goal is to make this a true fast; not just altar my eating habits but to pray and seek God for guidance and healing.

Fasts are not always just personal journeys, they can be shared. If you think you might want to do the Daniel Fast with me, pray about it and let me know…we can swap recipes and encourage one another to be spiritually and physically healthy!

Yesterday I confronted an enemy within myself.  This enemy has yet to be named, but its presence has been evident for many years.  Mostly he has lain dormant & then when I least expected it, he reared his ugly head and attacked.  His assaults have caused great pain and nuisance.  And I have come to fear him…I approach plans and actions based on whether I think this foe is going to appear.  I’ve canceled gatherings with friends, cut short engagements, and even denied myself certain things for fear that my enemy will attack and make things difficult or uncomfortable for myself and those around me. 

Even though I’ve seen this monster in my life and felt his wounds, I have done nothing.  I have endured and hoped that he would just give up and disappear;  That my small change of certain habits would force him to leave…but they have only prolonged the inevitable – an aggressive onslaught that causes major damage.   I have been unwise in my passivity. 

So yesterday I made my first advance against this enemy.  I am gathering an army against him and creating a strategy to oust him from my life.  I am ready to name him, find out from whence he came, and learn of his strategy.   I know that victory will not come without battles and wounds.  I am preparing myself for some tumultuous days; but I am clothing myself with Armor and mentally preparing for what is to come.  And, of course, I already have the victory because I have the Greatest General of All!

If you haven’t been able to tell, i’ve taken a break…a looong break….from blogging.  Basically, I lost my purpose and desire for blogging after returning from Ukraine.  Most of all, I think I just needed time to figure things out without blabbing my mouth.  In essence, a time to be still and listen.  I’ve done a lot of listening, and waiting, and even more questioning.

So are you ready for all the answers to my questions? Are you prepared to hear all that I’ve learned over the last 6 months or so?

Well, you’ll just have to wait, because, truthfully, I still don’t have it all figured out.  I haven’t yet to see God’s purpose in all the events that transpired over the last year.  But it’s okay.  I have learned that I don’t always need to know God’s reasoning.  All I have to know is that God is faithful and has a purpose for everything that He allows us to go through.  And, you know what?  He’s been extremely faithful in my life.  Here’s proof:

Things that have transpired since I’ve stopped blogging:

• Josh made it through a round of layoffs before finally being laid off in April.
• The last day of his job, a new company hired him to start the following week.
• All of our needs have been taken care of AND had a few added blessings thrown in.
• I started a new job @ a Christian company with good people.  The job is easy, flexible and just plain fun.
• Josh and I got into our own home…it’s a rental for now, but is exactly what we wanted and at an incredible rate for the location and size.
• I’ve been accepted to Seminary, where I will begin a Master’s of Biblical Counseling program in the fall.
• Friends and family have been so loving and supportive.  And understanding.
• I’ve made incredible new friendships
• Ministry opportunities continue to present themselves to me, which allows me to fulfill my calling as a missionary.
• My marriage is stronger than ever.

I could keep listing, but I think you get the point…God has been good to me.  He speaks to me daily and I am constantly finding Him in everything.

And, I believe I’m ready to begin blogging again.  My purpose is to just share the things that God places in my heart and mind.  I don’t claim to have all the answers; my guess is that I will end up saying some things on this blog that may not be right on…but i’m thinking through things and trying to figure it all out.  I’m just a woman trying to serve the Lord, and I hope you’ll take the journey with me.

God is not done with me yet.  He never will be.  And I can’t stop letting him work in me.

Each day is a struggle to die to myself, to choose the right paths, and to heed God’s voice.  But I’m trying.  I’m obeying. And when I do fail, I take my punishment/consequences with humility (most of the time) no matter how hard it is to face.

I’m learning more and more about myself…and those around me.  The more I see and understand, the more I desire to get away, to stop all the busyness and just be alone – with my thoughts, my Lord, and His scriptures.  To be still.  To be beside the still waters so that I can be restored.  Life is good…it’s actually really great at the moment…and God is continually blessing me…but I’m tired.  My soul is weary and longs for peace.  It screams for refreshing and cries out for renewal.

The Lord is my Shepherd.

Should I start blogging again?

Late last week, a blogger whose posts I frequently read, challenged fellow readers to step up and serve others in their community this holiday season.  His challenge was simply for us to not try to focus so much on yourself (as much of our society does) and your family, but to reach out and actually make a difference in someone’s life.

One of his readers commented back to him saying that he/she helps the “least fortunate” just by “acting as if every encounter I have outside of my ‘Christian bubble’ will be with someone who has never met someone so overjoyed by the love of Christ”.  While I do not disagree that we should always exemplify the characteristics of God and should be full of Christ’s love when we meet others, I do have a slight problem with this being a solution to helping out the least fortunate.

Every week at The Friendship House, where I volunteer, I encounter many people who have run out of money.  Most are losing their homes, out of work, disabled, elderly, or hungry.  I see children who who can’t get well because their parents cannot afford medicine.  I see woman humiliated and crying because they’ve never before had to ask anyone for food.  Men, living on the street or in hotel rooms, beg for a jacket as the weather turns cold.

Now, what would happen if I just listened to their stories, and then joyfully smiling only offer them the hope of Jesus Christ?

I would lose my entire Christian testimony!  A Christ-follower does not mean only offering them the opportunity to accept Christ as their Savior.  Just because I lead them in a prayer, does not mean that all their troubles disappear, that food falls on their tables, or their light bills get paid.  A Christ-follower would listen to their stories, cry with them, and then offer them food (or money or clothes) first!

I heard it said once (sorry, I cannot remember where) that before you can talk spiritual matters with someone, you first need to take care of them emotionally and physically.  Until someone’s basic needs are met, they won’t listen to you.  And I’ve found that to be true.  Show them first that we care about them, then explain why we care…that Christ compells us, that his love moves us to help.

Isn’t this what Jesus did?  Most of the stories we read of Jesus shows him reaching out to meet the physical and emotional needs of the crowd.  He didn’t start out by saying “repent first” and then I’ll heal you.  He healed them FIRST and then, once they were physically taken care of, he brought up their spiritual life (Go and sin no more).  He didn’t just smile & act overjoyed with love; he got his hands dirty to meet their needs…showing love through action.

I don’t drink soda (except for the occasional Root beer), but most of my family members are addicted enjoy the occasional Dr. Pepper. I know they’re not alone.  So as my gift to you, I pass on this bit of information…it should make many of you quite excited.

Guns-N-Roses newest album, “Chinese Democracy”, began production in 1994 but never released.  In March of this year, the Dr. Pepper company made a promise that if the long-anticipated album “dropped” in 2008 they would provide free Dr. Pepper for everyone.

Fast forward to this coming Sunday – Chinese Democracy will go on sale.

So will Dr. Pepper follow through on their promise?  You betcha!  Starting Sunday morning at 12:01 am, coupons for free Dr. Pepper will be available from the Dr. Pepper website.  But you’ll have to hurry and not forget – the coupons are only available for 24 hrs.

Don’t believe me?  Here’s where I got the stories…

Fox News

Yahoo News

Believe me now?  Then sit back and be a pepper, Dr.’s Orders.

The more I become involved in local outreach and mission opportunities, the more I become acquainted with various ministries around the globe. Starting today, and every Tuesday from now on, I will introduce you to a ministry that I regularly follow. My goal is that you will begin to pray for these ministries, and perhaps find one (or more) that moves you to action – either by getting involved physically or financially. Most of the people behind these ministries work long, hard hours; some even put their own lives at risk. Let them encourage you as they’ve encouraged me.

Today’s Tuesday Tribute: HOOKERS FOR JESUS

The sex industry is booming in America. Pornography, strip joints, and prostitutes line our streets and entangle millions of people in its web. It’s a messy business where addictions and abuse abound. For many involved, it’s a trap they can’t escape.

For over 11 years, Annie Lobert worked as a prostitute and exotic dancer in Las Vegas, Hawaii, and Minnesota. What started out as an alluring lifestyle – parties, money, presents, fame – turned into a spinning web of drugs, abuse, and sex. On the outside, she lived glamorously and felt powerful, but inside she raged with shame, loneliness, and feelings of worthlessness. She longed for love…real love. And she found it in Jesus Christ. Annie tells her story in great detail on her website. You can read it by clicking HERE. She holds nothing back as she reveals her deepest struggles and the ugly truths of the sex industry.

Now, as a passionate Christian, Annie’s one desire is reaching out to women and men “who are currently associated with or working as prostitutes, porn stars, pimps, and exotic dancers in order to help them transition successfully out of the sex industry.” Her Las Vegas ministry, Hookers for Jesus, offers services and programs that are “mission driven and are designed to minister healing and restoration of individuals and families affected by sexual abuse and trauma linked to professional and consumer involvement in the sex industry.”

Hookers for Jesus guides prostitutes, pimps, dancers, and porn stars into a life of freedom, walking with them throughout the entire journey. The sex industry workers do not just hear the message of Christ and then are abandoned to figure out everything else on their own. Hookers for Jesus offers continual guidance and help, including “case management services, criminal justice support; juvenile offender mentorship; community awareness seminars and workshops; individual health and wellness programs; skills assessment, retraining, and career development assistance; and human services programming.” They also minister in prisons, on the streets, juvenile detention centers, and even adult entertainment conferences!

An exciting event currently taking place is the opening of a new home for women. This home will serve as a transitional house for women seeking a safe environment as they fight to leave the sex industry. The Destiny Center just opened its doors in October and will begin accepting residents this month!

There are many exciting things happening through Hookers for Jesus. God’s faithfullness has abounded as they find creative and effective outlets to minister to this virtually unreached group of people. Please go to their website www.HookersforJesus.net and spend time looking around. Pray for them. Get involved!

Thanks, Annie and Hookers for Jesus volunteers, for giving yourself over so selflessly to this ministry and for getting your hands dirty so that lives can be saved!

In July, when Josh announced that he was ready to return to Texas for good, I knew that I was in for some emotionally hard times.  I had my dream in my grasp, and then it was suddenly threatened to be taken from me.

This experience was not my first.  It happened once before in 2001.  After attending a missionary training school in the Czech Republic, Josh and I returned home to begin pursuing full-time mission work in Ukraine.  After looking into it a bit more, Josh decided that the timing was not yet right for us to go do full-time work.  I was devastated…so much so that I allowed myself to listen to Satan’s lies about worthlessness and discontentment.  I didn’t have a career or a plan of what I was going to do.  I became bitter and angry towards my husband for taking away my dream.  I felt like a horrible person and hated myself, my marriage, and my situation in life to the point that I became suicidal.

So when Josh mentioned that he wanted to come back home to Texas this summer, after only 4 months in Ukraine, I remembered all that I had gone through 7 years before and knew there was only one thing for me to do if I was going to survive this 2nd heartbreak – run to the throne of God and allow him to carry me through this fire.

As Josh was contemplating the move, I drowned myself in scripture, worship, and prayer.  From those moments with my Lord, I received 2 very distinct and profound words:

1.  Proverbs 14:1 – The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her own hands. This verse has hit me harder than any other verse.  Through it I came to realize that no matter what decision Josh makes (at the time, whether to stay in Ukraine or return to Texas), success will ultimately be on MY shoulders.  If I want my “house” – my marriage, my relationship with God, my ministry – to stay strong and thriving, then it is completely, 100% my responsibility to see that it stays strong.  It is MY actions, MY words, and MY attitudes that will determine the outcome of any situation.  As the head of the household, Josh is to make the decisions that he sees best.  But it is my response to his decisions that make or break my “house”.

I really had two reactions to Josh’s decision to come home:  fight it with all my might to stay in Ukraine, or submit to his decision and return quietly.  Which one would build my house and which would tear it down?  I chose to quietly follow.

2.  No matter what I pray concerning the entire exodus back to Texas, I hear one phrase over and over again, “It’s going to be okay.”

And it has.